New diagnosis: metatarsalgia
After some days of very extreme foot pain, as well as severe and paralyzing back spasms (due to asymmetrical weight bearing and many compensations), it would be understating the case to say I have been hugely challenged in the use of myself. Good use has been close to impossible. I can’t stand, sit, walk or even lie down without nauseating pain in my back. The foot only hurts if I attempt to walk faster than a shuffle. I am not an inspiring example of grace or coordination currently!
Thus, I returned to my medical doctor today. She used a tuning fork to determine that no stress fracture exists, as the fork’s vibration would have made me scream if a fracture was indeed the issue. Instead, she diagnosed an inflammation of the metatarsal due to increased weight bearing demands after hardware removal from my knee, and my increased mobility after hardware removal.
Of course, this is a discouraging, depressing and disturbing set back, but I have some hopes of improving. I now have a little foot pad to assist my foot. The back spasm will hopefully quiet with some rest, ice and very conscious use.
You would think that after a year and 5 months of recovery that I would be accustomed to pain, but that’s not how it goes. I had enjoyed about a month of pain free mobility, and had delighted in that experience. The return of pain, and all the mobility and life limitations that pain brings, is incredibly dispiriting. Who’s in charge here anyway? Can I make an appeal for some relief? What more can I learn or relinquish? I just want to be able to live and move without pain, please.
Meanwhile, there are barn swallows swooping for bugs outside my window, and an eagle just flew past, pursued by a gang of crows. A local stellar jay is protesting a cat’s presence with vigor. I am reduced to observing, not acting, and active stillness is my only remaining option.