Allowing time when there’s too much time
Allowing time, even a macro-second, for a more overall elastic response is a familiar concept for Alexander students and teachers. We learn to welcome a dynamic pause, even in the face of seeming urgency. This skill begins with sitting and standing in a lesson and can proceed to all the activities of life.
“I have time” (to quiet, welcome new experience, spring up from the ground) takes on fresh meaning with a long term injury recovery. What I want to happen faster (full resumption of easy mobility) cannot be rushed. All that is hurried is my mind, and a hurried mind is no help in problem solving.
We can go quickly without hurrying and go slowly without freezing. There is no special value in a specific pace except for how pace best serves outcome. I have time to allow the pace that effectively serves a dynamic and quiet use of self. I have time not to pre-determine pace.
There are many adjustments required for a long recovery. Early in injury, all is in chaos, routines and expectations are dashed, and a sense of self in the world is shaken. I wanted to either go faster or go to sleep. But I learned a larger time can be accommodated, a longer view of pace and possibility.
Once I allowed time to plan tasks and transport, previously unconsidered solutions arose. Urgency became less important than overall co-ordination.
I have time to have time. Undefined weeks/months of recovery steps yawn before me. Telling myself “I don’t have time for this!” does nothing to help my effective use. I tighten, grip my limbs, furrow in worry. If, instead, I decide what I want, I can make choices that support that outcome. My attention prioritizes how to proceed rather than just pushing onward.
I have time to allow full recovery and time to make choices that make full recovery possible.
I have time.