Landscape of recovery: renewed hope

Posted by Jeanne Barrett on July 17, 2010 in Uncategorized

Hope, post injury, is typically renewed for me by increased ease in exploring activity, and by experiencing some measure of pain free living.  Both increased activity and decreased pain have been achieved in increments since patella fracture.  Progress has not been in any way linear, but instead a spiral of set backs, re-learning, long plateaus and welcome improvements.  This is the landscape of injury recovery.  It is a journey without a map for me.  I can choose to use myself well, no matter what my condition of self happens to be, and at whatever point in the landscape I happen to be traveling, and I can select professionals of other disciplines to assist me en route.  Otherwise, my control seems to be nil.  Indeed, relinquishing control seems to be my major (and very difficult) lesson in this ongoing journey.

Yesterday, I had the delightful experience of a private Gyrotonic session with Magali Messac, Master Gryotonic Trainer.  Magali also takes Alexander lessons with me, and is thus aware of Alexander thinking about undoing into activity.  Magali, as a former dancer of much renown, has experienced injury and recovery.  She knows from personal experience the urgency I express to become active and strong in my participation in life.  She also knows that I end-gain to achieve, and can spot this tendency with great perception and accuracy.

Magali expertly guided me through a challenging and joyous 90 minutes of exercise that did not stress my poor foot.  I emerged invigorated, renewed, energized and thrilled.

I decided to direct myself after this very happy experience to walk and move as though my foot was not an issue.  I am not suggesting that I ignored or suppressed pain.  Instead, I refused to expect pain, or to compensate from that potential expectation, and to begin to welcome a more upright and widened overall response.  I chose to believe in my graceful possibility, and to be willing to stop and re-direct if pain indicated doing so.

Then, this morning, I attended a Gyrokinesis class given by Kelly Reynolds.  Kelly is a wonderful teacher.  She and I know one another not only from her terrific Gyrokinesis classes, but as student and teacher in the Alexander Technique.  Kelly has taken many Alexander lessons with me, and also was a trainee on my teacher certification course, until her life’s needs compelled her to pursue other activities.

Kelly’s class was, as usual, energetic, rhythmic, and really fun.  Since the hardware removal from my knee, I can do much more of the class without discomfort.  I had to accommodate my foot to some degree, but was joyously able to challenge myself with care and attention.

For any or all of the above reasons, or for reasons that are mysterious to me, my foot hurt far less today.  I was able, with a much slower pace than I would prefer, to go downtown for various errands.  A limp still informs my walking, but pain is quieter and movement is easier.

So, there is hope on the horizon of this up and down landscape.  I may encounter more rocky bits, but will allow hope to inform me as I proceed onward, my use as a constant choice, and my chosen professionals as guides.

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