The pause that refreshes: recovery sequence
Putting a pause on exploring more than ordinary activities (see previous post) has had an overall good result. I can sense new support in my injured leg from my intention to allow new connections neurally and muscularly, as well as from simple PT exercises. Today, I could squat for the first time since injury in February! I also danced like a crazy person to music at home. The squat came quite naturally while refilling my cat Carmella’s food bowl. The dance was for sheer joy.
Walking with speed also came easily today. After 9 months of hobbling and limping and having my attention drawn ever downward to my all too painfully present knee, this was delight beyond belief! Limping may return, I know, but experiencing ease provides evidence of the value of inhibiting end-gaining, allowing quiet and a slower pace. Slow is not my favorite speed, of course. Habits of self are being addressed on myriad levels.
Now, I have to be sure not to end-gain beyond my current condition, to attend to the means-whereby, and to not challenge myself out of undue optimism. I have learned from my setbacks, and will, with cautious hope, progress from here onwards in a circular (not linear) fashion to the full recovery I so entirely seek.