Continued learning in recovery

Posted by Jeanne Barrett on October 4, 2009 in Uncategorized

An intention to grow, change, learn and welcome new information is key for me in order to endure the difficulties and challenges of a lengthy recovery.  Although I am still in the midst of this story, I can observe that some small changes have occurred in myself, and some lessons learned.  As always, I write in hopes of learning for others.

I am continuously grateful for the kindness and patience of family, friends and students, and for the expertise of professionals who assist me in recovery.  Accepting help is not easy for a fiercely independent person like myself, but I have learned to be appropriately dependent upon the kindness and skills of carefully selected humans.

A basic restlessness has been an aspect of my nature since birth.  Impatience has often been a stumbling block to experiencing life in the moment.  With the necessities imposed by injury, I have slowed, calmed and quieted.  The surprise for me is that a slower, quieter pace can be both rich and dynamic.  I miss moving with speed, and long for that option, but it is a hopeful future choice now rather than a habitual reaction.

The gifts of the Alexander Technique inform me in a totally new and deeper manner.  Being able to think with my whole self, and to creatively cope with physical limitation has strengthened my confidence in Alexander principles.  I am a much better teacher than previous to injury, and also humbled but much more I need to not know.  Injury has required me to enthusiastically not know.

I can’t in any way say I am grateful for this life changing injury.  No, I am not!  I daily wish I had never fallen, and am wakened by nightmares of falling.  Each morning, I come to consciousness wanting to go for a run in the new light, and to be informed by my morning run throughout the day.  My restlessness is not gone, just reconfigured.  Without the access of physical activity, I am forced to rest and quiet, and have had to learn to be at ease until I can be wildly active in a new way once again.

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