Continued learning in recovery
An intention to grow, change, learn and welcome new information is key for me in order to endure the difficulties and challenges of a lengthy recovery. Although I am still in the midst of this story, I can observe that some small changes have occurred in myself, and some lessons learned. As always, I write in hopes of learning for others.
I am continuously grateful for the kindness and patience of family, friends and students, and for the expertise of professionals who assist me in recovery. Accepting help is not easy for a fiercely independent person like myself, but I have learned to be appropriately dependent upon the kindness and skills of carefully selected humans.
A basic restlessness has been an aspect of my nature since birth. Impatience has often been a stumbling block to experiencing life in the moment. With the necessities imposed by injury, I have slowed, calmed and quieted. The surprise for me is that a slower, quieter pace can be both rich and dynamic. I miss moving with speed, and long for that option, but it is a hopeful future choice now rather than a habitual reaction.
The gifts of the Alexander Technique inform me in a totally new and deeper manner. Being able to think with my whole self, and to creatively cope with physical limitation has strengthened my confidence in Alexander principles. I am a much better teacher than previous to injury, and also humbled but much more I need to not know. Injury has required me to enthusiastically not know.
I can’t in any way say I am grateful for this life changing injury. No, I am not! I daily wish I had never fallen, and am wakened by nightmares of falling. Each morning, I come to consciousness wanting to go for a run in the new light, and to be informed by my morning run throughout the day. My restlessness is not gone, just reconfigured. Without the access of physical activity, I am forced to rest and quiet, and have had to learn to be at ease until I can be wildly active in a new way once again.