Newly Found Inner Quiet

Posted by Jeanne Barrett on June 21, 2009 in Uncategorized

I am restless by nature and wired for speed.  Although I have experienced injury and recovery previously (fractured ankle, hernia surgery), I have always recovered with astonishing speed and resumption of function and mobility.  A combination of my Alexander skills and a strong motivation to move well again powered my previous recoveries.

This injury, requiring a long term rehabilitation, cannot be hurried.  My Alexander skills have certainly helped me in reducing compensation and unnecessary accommodations, as well as assisting me in managing the emotional consequences of being temporarily less mobile than I prefer to be.  Strong motivation to recover serves me to a point and then becomes an end-gaining urgency that does not serve recovery.  Impatience thwarts progress when I push too hard.

There is a subtle balance required of me now that reflects the conscious response to stimuli that that Alexander Technique embodies.  I must have a clear intention, and then do from undoing, activate without doing too much.  This is a total response, integrating emotional, physical and mental aspects on a continuous basis.

Given that I am currently unable to be physically active in my familiar manner, all aspects of my sense of self are impacted.  My means of processing emotional and mental information has had to change, as my previous means-whereby has involved movement, exertion, and an exploration of activity on many daily levels.  Exertion in the physical manner is not currently available.  And thus, I am exploring a new experience of being quiet and stilled, yet remaining dynamic.  How to remain dynamic in stillness is what Alexander students and teachers learn to embrace, willingly and joyfully.  My current relative immobility puts this learning at an entirely new importance, and not one that is always comfortable.

I multi-task far less because I can’t be attentive to potential pain and also multi-task.  One task at a time is what I can reasonably do.  I am beginning, reluctantly, to welcome internal quiet, learning to wait for the bus without pacing, embracing the sadness of not running daily, welcoming the winds of stillness in an active fashion.

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