Hardware removal surgery
Although there are few projects less appealing to me than surgery, the potential future ease of living without metal pins and wires in my knee, and the possibility of being able to kneel with ease (gardening, Gyrokinesis, looking for cat toys under the furniture) trumps surgery and recovery distress. Thus, surgery to remove the pins and figure 8 wires on my fractured patella (all initially necessary for bone healing) has been scheduled for May 25.
In contrast to zero preparation for emergency surgery post injury, I have time now to prepare in organizational fashions (loose pants for surgery day, food prepared at home, a planned week off from teaching), and also to un-prepare. The temptation is to end-gain by pushing strength limits prior to surgery, increasing activity levels, and an overall attitude of pre-figuring a condition of self. However, since I can’t possibly know how I will be after surgery (the prediction is that mobility will only be affected by attention to incision healing), I am choosing to dynamically un-prepare. The condition of self, and my manner of use in that condition of self, will benefit most from more indirect means and approaches. Instead of working out more, walking further, and attending to strengthening in any specific fashion, I am calming, quieting and attending with happy curiosity to the use of myself. I am doing the time tested and effective Alexander procedures of Hands on the Back of the Chair (to increase an overall balance of tone and connection to the ground, as well as a brain state condition of dynamic non-interference) and Whispered Ah (to re-set respiratory support for invisible effort in breathing and co-ordination) so that I am hopefully in a good condition of self for surgery and recovery.
And, I am going for my morning faux-runs with a bittersweet awareness that this experience might not be available, temporarily, after surgery. Thus, the morning Spring light, the myriad birdsongs, are sweeter, the rhythms of walking with relative ease more precious.
I may go backward in recovery after surgery, but hope for further future possibilities in movement and ease.