Victories in Continued Recovery
Although it seems a very long time to me since I was living and moving “normally”, and a discouragingly extended time until I will move and live “normally” again, there is evidence that I am healing and strengthening. Recovery is indeed progressing! Good use, time, expert support, and the kindness of friends are propelling me to the next stage of recovery.
I was very happy to give a Continuing Education workshop for Alexander teachers and serious students of the Technique this past Saturday. It was a confirmation for me, as well as for the participants, that the Alexander Technique is not concerned with perfection in form, but in choosing a response for best possible use of the self whatever the current structural challenges may be. The workshop was not focussed on me or my injury, but on the information and Alexander procedures that I was presenting. Although I was tired and leg-sore by the end, my stamina held up well, and my attention didn’t get over-involved with knee discomfort. I sat and rested when necessary, and certainly didn’t repress pain, but made no fuss about it either as my attention was on entire use of self.
Today, with Marty’s steadying company, I took a bus downtown. Taking a bus is potentially scary as the Metro drivers typically begin moving the bus before I am seated. Also, finding a seat that will accommodate my extended leg without blocking the aisle is a bit of a trick. Suffice to say, we managed, without too much panic or pain involved.
Once downtown, we did various errands that required walking many city blocks, crossing streets with briefly timed “walk” signs, and negotiating crowded sidewalks. All of this would have frightened and exhausted me a few weeks ago. Today I did fine! No muscle spasms, no major worries, no pulling down with fear of falling.
Of course, I am still slower than your average tortoise (as opposed to my previous mythology, which was faster than your average Energizer Bunny). An increase in confidence may have to substitute for speed. I am encouraged by these small victories, and eager to embrace life more fully and fearlessly at any speed once again.