The continuing subject of pain
Pain has been my informative companion, my constant feedback, and a rather primary sensation since I fractured my patella in February 2009. I have learned more than I really wanted to know about how much pain changes and challenges attention, and how daily life must be shifted to accommodate pain. There was a glorious month between hardware removal surgery and the onset of foot pain when I could move easily and comfortably. I am grateful for the reprieve, but also mourn that dream of pain-free living.
Applying Alexander principles of a wider attention and an intention for overall elastic response has made my pain-informed life tolerable. When I am teaching lessons or workshops, and thus very much attending to a larger view, without in any way repressing pain signals, pain takes a background seat.
There is also the pain, which is much more difficult for me, of not being able to move as I would prefer. How to apply Alexander principles to this emotional discomfort is still hit and miss for me. In the notion of whole self elastic coordination and choice in response, I can refuse to narrow or shorten, and quiet myself in reaction to emotional dismay. The strong intention to remain lengthened and widened, on the ground and springing up, increases respiratory freedom and quiets my mind chatter. I can see the larger view of recovery, in moments, and rejoice. Then, I struggle again and despair. When will I be able to run or even walk with ease again? The battle continues, with no known outcome that is yet clear.