Many leveled reorganization
I have this notion, based on no information other than my own experience, that recovery sequences sometimes require a seeming setback for reorganizational purposes. As use, function, and even structure shift to more fully operational levels, the tissues, nerves, brain and emotional signals all need a pause on further forward movement, so that new information can be conjugated and digested without any further push.
After several days of dramatic setback, I am now functioning better than previous to the setback. Pain and immobility necessitated rest and ease in activity as priorities, and new choices in use. The tissues, nerves, emotional self and perceptions were allowed time to know a new response.
After 11 months of recovery, I no longer dive into dismay and depression when a setback occurs, as I know now that change is constant and unpredictable. Often, there are no answers, only the continuing question of how to use myself best with the conditions of Self that are current. The choice of continuing with good use, of quieting and refusing to narrow or shorten, even with mounting pain and frustration, has thus far served me well. Directing and inhibiting has saved me from the self-pity trap.
This morning, my canine friend, Oliver, ran to greet me with his big tail wildly wagging. He thinks I am fine, even on days when I limp and lurch. I will take a cue from Oliver, and join him in the idea that I am fine as I am now, with hopes of spiraling improvement included.